But the reason for this post isn't that. Sigh. I was clearing some clothes out today and I came across the size 12 jeans that I last wore in November, when I was first starting to get ill, and when I realised I was getting fat(ter) They were tight then; today I could get them shut but couldn't get them over my hips. So that means I've put weight on since then. I feel, frankly, fucking wretched.
I'm starting to think that just walking more isn't enough. It doesn't appear to be making any difference. So I dug out my copy of the 30 Day Shred*. 30 mins intense workout every day for a month. I did it for 10 days last year, but chucked it because I was too ashamed of the noise my big heifer self made when I was jumping about in my parents' house. Those ten days did seem to make a bit of a difference, though, although perhaps I was kidding myself.
Of course, the shame issue still applies, because I'm an even bigger heifer now, and I always feel stupid doing any exercise or making any effort to get thin if my parents know about it (many,many issues there). So I can't promise that I will do it till the end. I do feel slightly last-chance-saloon now though: nothing I try seems to work. Part of that is PCOS making weightloss difficult, but still. Bloody demoralising.
Anyone who fancies joining in is welcome: it's pretty high-intensity, so if you're up the duff I'd perhaps refrain (and it might fook fookedfoot up more, sorry Fiona :( ) but everyone seems to rave about it.
Did day 1 today, a month to the day till I go home to Paris for a bit. Counting in a few rest days, I should be nearly finished by then. You'll need to tell me if it's worked, as I can never tell...
To counter that shower of miserabilism, here's some cheery things from FrancoLand:
- One of my best friends is getting married on Wednesday. Yay! The dress I wore to the last wedding I went to, in July 2009, while a bit tighter, still fits. Double yay!
- Found the skirt I wore to the first date with my boyfriend. We'll have been going out for a year on the 27th of August. Skirt still fits, although has an elastic waist, but fits as in "doesn't have to be round my ribcage to fit" sense. Yay!
- Aforementioned anniversary means we're going to the Fringe to see our favourite comedian (Josie Long). Yay!
- I am currently deploying strategies to escape my mundane-but-minefieldesque job and get a better one. Cross your fingers for me. Yay!
* Available for a special price of £0.00 at your friendly local torrent site, not that I would know that. *cough*