3 weeks makes my total of another 45.6 miles walked sound impressive. 182.8 miles completed now with 317.2 to go for me to meet my 500 mile target.
You know what I am going to say though don't you? Yes, cycling is not going so well. I have a measly 5 miles to add to my total. 37.5 miles completed leaving a lot still to go.
Since my brain haemorrhage I have been under the weather for a great proportion of the time. I am completing the walking (which looking at the figure is still less than half of what I was doing pre haem) because I have to get the girls to and from school and myself to and from medical appointments. So basically if I HAVE to I will. The problem is I am normally so utterly exhausted from the exertion and the concentrating on not getting myself run over by falling off the curb/not realising that car is actually moving - towards ME and in so much pain in the fooked feet - that I get home and collapse in a heap at home. For hours.
I find decision making, however simple a challenge now. So deciding to move off the sofa is hard enough never mind get the bike out. I have apathy, no really, it is a recognised post brain buggery condition. Motivation is a struggle, but..
I am not giving up, but I think I am taking the pressure off myself a bit. Especially as over the next few weeks I will complete about 8 different assessments to determine what and where any damage to my noggin is. I have also decided to be sterilised (I did discuss it with my husband and doctor first). I can't say I am relishing the thought of another operation, but a weeks recovery is far better than the alternatives for many and varied reasons.
And I would rather be a bit smaller before I have an operation on my wibbly middle. (My weight is yo-yoing because there is also a question mark of whether I have PCOS, well, why the hell not? I am collecting medical conditions for the hell of it now.) So I have an equally compelling reason to keep trying to push myself just a bit with the exercise as I do to stay curled up on the sofa.
I'll keep trying, this is an inspirational volleyball quote apparently but it is true anyway:
