Sunday, 6 November 2011

It's Been One Week...

Only, it hasn't, it has been 3.

3 weeks makes my total of another 45.6 miles walked sound impressive.  182.8 miles completed now with 317.2 to go for me to meet my 500 mile target.
You know what I am going to say though don't you?  Yes, cycling is not going so well.  I have a measly 5 miles to add to my total.  37.5 miles completed leaving a lot still to go.

Since my brain haemorrhage I have been under the weather for a great proportion of the time.  I am completing the walking (which looking at the figure is still less than half of what I was doing pre haem) because I have to get the girls to and from school and myself to and from medical appointments.  So basically if I HAVE to I will. The problem is I am normally so utterly exhausted from the exertion and the concentrating on not getting myself run over by falling off the curb/not realising that car is actually moving - towards ME and in so much pain in the fooked feet - that I get home and collapse in a heap at home.  For hours.

I find decision making, however simple a challenge now.  So deciding to move off the sofa is hard enough never mind get the bike out.  I have apathy, no really, it is a recognised post brain buggery condition.  Motivation is a struggle, but..

I am not giving up, but I think I am taking the pressure off myself a bit.  Especially as over the next few weeks I will complete about 8 different assessments to determine what and where any damage to my noggin is.  I have also decided to be sterilised (I did discuss it with my husband and doctor first).  I can't say I am relishing the thought of another operation, but a weeks recovery is far better than the alternatives for many and varied reasons.

And I would rather be a bit smaller before I have an operation on my wibbly middle.  (My weight is yo-yoing because there is also a question mark of whether I have PCOS, well, why the hell not?  I am collecting medical conditions for the hell of it now.)  So I have an equally compelling reason to keep trying to push myself just a bit with the exercise as I do to stay curled up on the sofa.

I'll keep trying, this is an inspirational volleyball quote apparently but it is true anyway: