It's Been One Week...

Only, it hasn't, it has been 3.

3 weeks makes my total of another 45.6 miles walked sound impressive.  182.8 miles completed now with 317.2 to go for me to meet my 500 mile target.
You know what I am going to say though don't you?  Yes, cycling is not going so well.  I have a measly 5 miles to add to my total.  37.5 miles completed leaving a lot still to go.

Since my brain haemorrhage I have been under the weather for a great proportion of the time.  I am completing the walking (which looking at the figure is still less than half of what I was doing pre haem) because I have to get the girls to and from school and myself to and from medical appointments.  So basically if I HAVE to I will. The problem is I am normally so utterly exhausted from the exertion and the concentrating on not getting myself run over by falling off the curb/not realising that car is actually moving - towards ME and in so much pain in the fooked feet - that I get home and collapse in a heap at home.  For hours.

I find decision making, however simple a challenge now.  So deciding to move off the sofa is hard enough never mind get the bike out.  I have apathy, no really, it is a recognised post brain buggery condition.  Motivation is a struggle, but..

I am not giving up, but I think I am taking the pressure off myself a bit.  Especially as over the next few weeks I will complete about 8 different assessments to determine what and where any damage to my noggin is.  I have also decided to be sterilised (I did discuss it with my husband and doctor first).  I can't say I am relishing the thought of another operation, but a weeks recovery is far better than the alternatives for many and varied reasons.

And I would rather be a bit smaller before I have an operation on my wibbly middle.  (My weight is yo-yoing because there is also a question mark of whether I have PCOS, well, why the hell not?  I am collecting medical conditions for the hell of it now.)  So I have an equally compelling reason to keep trying to push myself just a bit with the exercise as I do to stay curled up on the sofa.

I'll keep trying, this is an inspirational volleyball quote apparently but it is true anyway:

Oh Carol

My Carol Voderman Active Health DS came and new activity meter (aka pedometer) didn't arrive till last Tuesday.  This meant a week of no steps counting, a week where I ended up doing extra walking, a week where I spent a good couple of hours trying to dance and mashed my feet in the progress - and have no steps to add to the grand total.

Anyway this fortnights stats are as follows:
Walking: In the last 5 days I have managed 13.7 miles which I am pretty pleased with (not least because when I say I mashed my already fookedfeet I am not exagerating, they are sore *violins please*)  This means I have 362.8 miles to tramp.

Bike (yes hurrah!  I have finally got on my bike!) I have managed 10 miles!  Hurrah only 467.5 to go.
I got the final all clear on Monday following my brain hem in February on Monday and am feeling much more comfortable starting to really push myself now.  So I am hoping I can get closer to 10 miles minimum a week now and start bringing the end in sight much quicker!

Motivation is still hard.  I am still anxious doing much outside the school run because a) I have to take the children to school or I get told off and b) I did it so long before my brain exploded that it is hard wired into some undamaged part of my skull, not to forget c) my brain does not control my body temperature properly so I am either bright red and soaked in sweat when everyone else is cold or expiring when everyone else is hot.  It is very embarrassing, it doesn't encourage me to feel the burn in public.

But I am trying to recover my fitness as well as my self confidence and self esteem so I keep trying to push myself a tiny bit further every day.

And we're back

I have a small addiction to passive or not aggressive cat pictures currently.  But we discovered last week I am a gap in my skull and I am leaking brain fluid here and there so maybe that is why.

I spent the first half of the week in hospital and the second at a wedding in the south of France.  One was considerably more fun that the other.  I didn't take a pedometer to France but I did do a fair bit of walking.  The converted textile factory on grounds we stayed in were about the size of my street and also there were hills.  Not hills on a Sheffield scale but hills on roads with no pavement shared with French drivers.  I kept myself moving and the heart rate up...

So as it stands I don't know if my gap means more treatment or what so for now I am carrying on as normal.  Both my girls are now in school full time and the walk to and from just twice a day has already upped my walking quota.  The cycling is still trailing miserably behind but my new plan is to try and fit some cycling in every day (Monday to Friday) now I have the house to myself, preferably whilst watching Homes Under The Hammer.

Plus I am at the hospital twice this week for a consultation and then physio on the fookedfoot.  The manipulation and conversation are both going to be painful to some degree but at least that is another couple of good walks factored in.

I know this is not a diet blog and I know we are not in the business of hating ourselves but a wedding did mean photography and most of the photos I have seen of myself make me want to cry to be honest.  I watched Clare Richards: Slave To Food too.  My self confidence is not exactly sky high but I figure if I put half as much effort into keeping moving as I normally expend of trying to bury my feelings under chocolate it will be far more productive!

Scores on the doors:
Bike - 1.5 miles completed, 21.1 miles done in total leaving 478.9 to do
Walking - 19 miles completed, 85.5 miles done in total leaving 414.5 to do

The Horror Of Google

So I'm back with 2 weeks worth of figures for the 500 mile walk and the 500 mile cycle.

But you know, I don't like to just write stuff.  I like youtube videos and images to jazz things up a bit.  As usual I turned to google to provide me with a suitably funny or quirky illustrative image for this blog post.  I typed in 'walk funny'.  I have done quite a lot of walking, 18.5 miles in fact which brings the running total to 53.6 miles leaving 446.4 miles to go.  A tenth of the total completed, I am happy and pleased with myself etc.

I should have twigged something might pop up I wasn't wanting when the images seemed to feature this or similar on t-shirts etc .

On I scrolled until suddenly I was confronted by several pictures of a man with a crime watch photofit face, no clothes and a rather alarmingly large penis.  I gasped at the computer, clutched my pearls and closed my eyes quickly to prevent any further filth sullying my mind.

^That could be me.  But obviously it's not.

OK so now you have gone and tried that on google to see of you can find Mr CrimeWatch it only remains for me to make know the fact that I also managed 11.6 miles on the bike, meaning 19.6 miles completed and a mere 480.4 miles to go.

Oh for shame....

Lets just cut to the chase, this week I have been slack.  I have done no cycling again and only got readings for walking from 2 days.

I know.

I will also warn you know that next weekend I am away for titches birthday so I may have to do a double update in a fortnight.  Still hopefully I will be back with much more impressive results.  I have had a fabulous birthday weekend but I've already seen so many photos of myself I just hate.  I am all for cutting myself some slack after the last 6 months, not getting caught up in that old web of self loathing and punishment etc etc but it doesn't change the fact that I just hate the photos and the way I look.  I need to get more committed to getting fitter and more consistent in my approach.

So this week:

Walked 7.5 ouch!

So 3 weeks in and I have 464.9 miles left to walk and 492 miles left to cycle.

Week 2

O this week has been shit for many and varied reasons.

And I will tell you right now I have not done as well as I would have liked on my challenges.  No cycling at all *shame face* but a little more walking than last week at least.

But before I give you the score on the door I have photos from todays walk to share.  It is often said Sheffield is built on seven hills.  Personally I think it may be more than that, there seems to be hardly any flat parts of this city at all.  Anyway one of these hills is at the back of my house.  Now in the past I have not only walked up this hill but I have also pushed a fully loaded double buggy up it too.  I was in a car making the same journey not so long ago and I'm not quite sure how I managed it.

Living as I do on the side of the former industrial heart land of the steel city I am used to a more urban than green landscape.  Even though I knew there was greenery of some sort behind the play ground at the top of the road I never went and investigated.  Luckily a couple of months ago my husband and children did.  Feeling in desperate need of a good walk to clear my head this morning I suggested they show me all this woodland, roman road remains and breath taking views they had raved about.  Walking the hill with nice things to look at rather than busy roads and houses has got to make things more interesting right?

It was about 3 miles in total and took a little over an hour as we did have to stop and investigate things.  It was also pretty steep, I could tell you that but you might not believe him hence the photographic evidence secured via mobile phone.  I felt a million miles from home half the time and the rest I was staring out over at impressive sized chunk of Sheffield.  My head in clearer, my thighs hurt and next week I'll be back in the (figurative) saddle.

On the way up looking out over Sheffield

And a bit higher still

Looking back the way we've come

Looking back (over my shoulder... sorry) again

In places it's more a mountain and a hill but if they kids can so it so can I!

So this weeks results?
I added another 14.1 miles to my tally making 27.6 in total leaving a mere 472.4 to go.

OK then......

My Name Is Fiona and...

after a few minor setbacks this year (you know, brain explosions, foot joints being jiggerypoked) I am all for getting a little more healthy and a lot more active.

So far I'm thinking that I'll reset my DS Walk With Me, start using my pedometer, track how far I can walk, convert that into miles and then see how many equivalent marathons I can do between now and then.

The marathon is an Olympic event isn't it?  Well, it's an idea anyway......