It's Been One Week...

Only, it hasn't, it has been 3.

3 weeks makes my total of another 45.6 miles walked sound impressive.  182.8 miles completed now with 317.2 to go for me to meet my 500 mile target.
You know what I am going to say though don't you?  Yes, cycling is not going so well.  I have a measly 5 miles to add to my total.  37.5 miles completed leaving a lot still to go.

Since my brain haemorrhage I have been under the weather for a great proportion of the time.  I am completing the walking (which looking at the figure is still less than half of what I was doing pre haem) because I have to get the girls to and from school and myself to and from medical appointments.  So basically if I HAVE to I will. The problem is I am normally so utterly exhausted from the exertion and the concentrating on not getting myself run over by falling off the curb/not realising that car is actually moving - towards ME and in so much pain in the fooked feet - that I get home and collapse in a heap at home.  For hours.

I find decision making, however simple a challenge now.  So deciding to move off the sofa is hard enough never mind get the bike out.  I have apathy, no really, it is a recognised post brain buggery condition.  Motivation is a struggle, but..

I am not giving up, but I think I am taking the pressure off myself a bit.  Especially as over the next few weeks I will complete about 8 different assessments to determine what and where any damage to my noggin is.  I have also decided to be sterilised (I did discuss it with my husband and doctor first).  I can't say I am relishing the thought of another operation, but a weeks recovery is far better than the alternatives for many and varied reasons.

And I would rather be a bit smaller before I have an operation on my wibbly middle.  (My weight is yo-yoing because there is also a question mark of whether I have PCOS, well, why the hell not?  I am collecting medical conditions for the hell of it now.)  So I have an equally compelling reason to keep trying to push myself just a bit with the exercise as I do to stay curled up on the sofa.

I'll keep trying, this is an inspirational volleyball quote apparently but it is true anyway:

Rookie error

Back at gym today. Don't feel I did so well today, possibly because I feel a bit under the weather. Maybe I did though? Did 32 mins on the treadmill, though only 8 of that was non-stop running at 8.5km/h (this seems to be my limit atm). I meant to do 20 mins but by the time I got there I thought, sod it, will go to 25, and then I wasn't dead, so thought, oh ok I'll just go to the 30 min mark and the machine will chuck me off. It didn't, it made me do a 2 min cooldown first. So. Must admit that most of it was powerwalking though, at about the 6.5-7.5 km/h mark. Ran about....9.5 minutes at most. Hm. This is probably a bit crap.

Then did 10 mins on rowing machine, which my ipod decided to soundtrack with a  Belle and Sebastian song. Which was a) slow and b) had the first line "Oooh, get me away from here, I'm dying". CHEERS IPOD.

Discovered that  the crosstrainers have.....FREEVIEW! So I did 15 mins there while watching This Morning and feeling angry at Eamonn Holmes, standard. Only did 2km, but I was timelimited so there we are.

Then I made a twat of myself. Went in for a shower on autopilot. Got in, turned on water, realised I was fully clothed. Thought "oh dear, I'll take my top off". So I did. But I forgot my bra. and my pants. Which means I am walking around with wet patches on my chest and my arse. Well done Franco!! :D
I don't think I'm quite awake yet.


More minor rookie error: woke up today with the nerve pain I sometimes get in my neck. Gave in and bought some paracetamol, took it before gym. Forgot exercise will make painkillers get out of your system faster. Now have to wait 2 hours til I can take more, getting kicked in the throat by pain every 30 seconds. Oops.....

I can do a four minute....er...3/4 km?

OK, so I'm not Roger Bannister. Shame.

But I properly joined the gym today (it must be true, I have the university-branded locker token and everything). Was there actually working for just over an hour, which isn't bad. I was slightly concerned as I was fairly alright after that, whereas 30mins of 30dayshred leaves me dying for about 30 mins afterwards. However, perhaps that's just cos 30DS is v v v high intensity, and the gym is different?

I did 30 mins on the treadmill: 2 min warm up, 10 min powerwalk, 15 min jog and the rest a powerwalkjoggycooldown thing. Have not yet mastered jogging while moving arms without falling off-given that the thing was set at 8.5km an hour falling was a major concern-so jogged gripping the side bars for dear life. Like an idiot. But hey. looking like an idiot is nothing new for me when it comes to running about :)

Then did 20 mins on rowing machine, which I like cos I get to sit down. Arse is too big for the little seat tho, I kept tilting by accident. Also like rowing because I have the impression, which may be wrong, that it works my arms as well. which the other stuff doesn't do really.

Then 15 mins on a crosstrainer thing. Which was ok. Although the ipod socket wouldn't charge my ipod, boooo. Apparently I did 2.9km on the treadmill, of which 1.5 was probably running, and 1.25 on the crosstrainer. The rowing machine display kept dying on me so I don't know what distance I did there.

Apparently, on the treadmill my heartrate was at the high end of "endurance training" range and on the crosstrainer was on the high end of "athletic conditioning" (!) which sounds impressive. Highest I saw was 195 bpm, which I think is the highest sustained rate my heart's  ever been at. And yet I did not even come close to keeling over. Which is good, right?

Let's get physical.

So yesterday, I went to the gym at uni. I'm probably going tomorrow morning to join for the year.

I didn't do much, because I wasn't able to get an induction and when i looked at the weight machines I wasn't sure what to do. Will try and sort that soon though. Last night I just stuck to the cardio suite (oooh, get me, all fitnessbunnyspeak), so 15 mins on treadmill, 15 on crosstrainer, 15 on rowing machine and 10 mins on crosstrainer again after i chickened out on weights. Also did 5 mins on spinning bike thing. Er. Won't be doing that again....pain pain pain.

I've never been in a gym in my life, and overall  I just got the impression like I was back at PE in school. There was communal changing! Which is what made me hate PE in the first place. And there were plenty of thin fit people. But there were a few girls who were just as fat and wobbly as me. So that was nice. I'm going to make an effort. We'll see how it goes.

Oh Carol

My Carol Voderman Active Health DS came and new activity meter (aka pedometer) didn't arrive till last Tuesday.  This meant a week of no steps counting, a week where I ended up doing extra walking, a week where I spent a good couple of hours trying to dance and mashed my feet in the progress - and have no steps to add to the grand total.

Anyway this fortnights stats are as follows:
Walking: In the last 5 days I have managed 13.7 miles which I am pretty pleased with (not least because when I say I mashed my already fookedfeet I am not exagerating, they are sore *violins please*)  This means I have 362.8 miles to tramp.

Bike (yes hurrah!  I have finally got on my bike!) I have managed 10 miles!  Hurrah only 467.5 to go.
I got the final all clear on Monday following my brain hem in February on Monday and am feeling much more comfortable starting to really push myself now.  So I am hoping I can get closer to 10 miles minimum a week now and start bringing the end in sight much quicker!

Motivation is still hard.  I am still anxious doing much outside the school run because a) I have to take the children to school or I get told off and b) I did it so long before my brain exploded that it is hard wired into some undamaged part of my skull, not to forget c) my brain does not control my body temperature properly so I am either bright red and soaked in sweat when everyone else is cold or expiring when everyone else is hot.  It is very embarrassing, it doesn't encourage me to feel the burn in public.

But I am trying to recover my fitness as well as my self confidence and self esteem so I keep trying to push myself a tiny bit further every day.

Other blogs are available: but here's mine anyway.

Fancy following my MPhil research travails? Go here. 

I'll do my best to make it interesting!

Off the wagon.

I have been off the wagon recently. Well, exercise wise anyway. I've been ok...ish food wise but wandering a bit without the focus of exercise. It started with being off work and cutting my hand open so I couldn't get it wet. Crap excuse, but I was waiting for one. Then I went on holiday and then I was ill...(ish). I'm going back at the weekend. If I don't, can you please kick me up the bum? I'll update you all after I've been.

It has been 2 weeks again.  This is partly an attempt to get more impressive cycle stats to share.  It isn't working though.  I have read a very interesting book about a guy who cycled from the UK to India but only managed 1.4 miles myself.  This means a pathetic 22.5 miles completed and a massive 477.5 to go.

I need to establish some sort of routine here.  Maybe half an hour every morning when I am watching Homes Under The Hammer perhaps?

Walking is really picking up now I am getting fully into the swing of taking the girls to and from to school (and have managed not to be ill or bed ridden too much) 38 miles this fortnight which is 123.5 miles completed with 376.5 to go - much happier with those stats.

However......

I have lost my pedometer!  It was a DS 'Walk With Me' one.  I had it in my handbag when I was out on Friday and I think it fell out of my bag when I was having lunch.  So now I am not sure what to do.  If I carry on the way I am currently we can assume I am walking about 20 miles a week.  But I NEED the figures, I can't argue with actual figures and wanting higher stats does make me walk that bit further (just not cycle).  So anyway, you are going to have to bare with me while I figure out whether to try and get a replacement second hand DS pedometer or a new one.  I do have a pedometer on my i-pod but it isn't going to work when I am walking with other people is it?

If anyone needs be I'll be knee deep in Amazon lists of stuff, as per usual.....

Just Call Me Delia....

Something else I thought I might share is this recipe for courgette muffins

Taken from AllRecipes.co.uk

Ingredients

Serves: 12

• 225g (8 oz) wholemeal flour
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 175ml (6 fl oz) skimmed milk
• 2 egg whites
• 4 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 4 tablespoons honey
• 4 oz grated courgette

Where are you?

Preparation method

Prep: 15 mins | Cook: 20 mins

1.

Preheat oven to 190 C / Gas mark 5. Grease muffin tin lightly with oil or line with paper muffin cups.

2.

Combine wholemeal flour, baking powder, salt and ground cinnamon, mix thoroughly.

3.

Mix the milk, slightly beaten egg whites, oil, honey and grated courgette together. Pour into the dry ingredients and stir until just barely moistened. Batter should be thick and lumpy. Fill muffin tins 2/3 full with batter.

4.

Bake in preheated oven for 20 minutes or until lightly browned.

While my children mostly refuse to be convinced they are really nice, filling, sweet and low fat for cake.  Wholemeal banana bread is currently in the oven. I am hoping for more success with that!

And we're back

I have a small addiction to passive or not aggressive cat pictures currently.  But we discovered last week I am a gap in my skull and I am leaking brain fluid here and there so maybe that is why.

I spent the first half of the week in hospital and the second at a wedding in the south of France.  One was considerably more fun that the other.  I didn't take a pedometer to France but I did do a fair bit of walking.  The converted textile factory on grounds we stayed in were about the size of my street and also there were hills.  Not hills on a Sheffield scale but hills on roads with no pavement shared with French drivers.  I kept myself moving and the heart rate up...

So as it stands I don't know if my gap means more treatment or what so for now I am carrying on as normal.  Both my girls are now in school full time and the walk to and from just twice a day has already upped my walking quota.  The cycling is still trailing miserably behind but my new plan is to try and fit some cycling in every day (Monday to Friday) now I have the house to myself, preferably whilst watching Homes Under The Hammer.

Plus I am at the hospital twice this week for a consultation and then physio on the fookedfoot.  The manipulation and conversation are both going to be painful to some degree but at least that is another couple of good walks factored in.

I know this is not a diet blog and I know we are not in the business of hating ourselves but a wedding did mean photography and most of the photos I have seen of myself make me want to cry to be honest.  I watched Clare Richards: Slave To Food too.  My self confidence is not exactly sky high but I figure if I put half as much effort into keeping moving as I normally expend of trying to bury my feelings under chocolate it will be far more productive!

Scores on the doors:
Bike - 1.5 miles completed, 21.1 miles done in total leaving 478.9 to do
Walking - 19 miles completed, 85.5 miles done in total leaving 414.5 to do

Yo

I've fallen off the wagon with 30 day shred because I had some MinorHealthDrama and I'm still knackered. I do know that I can do it though, so can do it again soon. Run out of money so been doing lots of walking the last few days. That's good :)

Going to Paris on Wednesday, where I shall have a week of detox on good food and will prob lose weight through shitloads of walking. So, on balance, yay.

Exercise, a diet that's wise and a bit of diddly-dum

Sorry for the lack of recent posting, been really busy with work and other boring stuff. Something significant did happen though. Fitness wise. I went to the gym on Sunday and the oddest sensation came over me.

I was enjoying myself.

I got into the zone on the cross trainer. The minutes flew by. I wasn't counting them slowly one by one and charting my progress in percentages. It became fun. I forgot my troubles and everything melted away. It was a nice feeling. I also managed a great swim afterwards which was a great thing for me as being a complete water baby, I never feel motivated enough to actually do anything when I'm in there other than float and daydream about being a mermaid.

Food-wise, I'm doing well. I've ordered my first Graze box, which was stuffed full of healthy snacks and it kept me away from the biscuit barrel at 11pm. If you fancy a free Graze box, you can have one on Olympfit by quoting the code R3GNXJK when you sign up.

In other news, my clothes are definitely looser and I think that putting on something that used to be tight and feeling that it's now loose may well be one of the best feelings ever.

All being well I'm off to face my nemesis, Body Pump tonight. Wish me luck!

Just a Quickie

So it would appear I am going back to hospital for a brain scan tonight so just a quickie

So no cycling but I have managed some walking.  12.9 miles done making a total of 66.5 miles with 433.5 miles to go!

I'll be back.....

The Horror Of Google

So I'm back with 2 weeks worth of figures for the 500 mile walk and the 500 mile cycle.

But you know, I don't like to just write stuff.  I like youtube videos and images to jazz things up a bit.  As usual I turned to google to provide me with a suitably funny or quirky illustrative image for this blog post.  I typed in 'walk funny'.  I have done quite a lot of walking, 18.5 miles in fact which brings the running total to 53.6 miles leaving 446.4 miles to go.  A tenth of the total completed, I am happy and pleased with myself etc.

I should have twigged something might pop up I wasn't wanting when the images seemed to feature this or similar on t-shirts etc .

On I scrolled until suddenly I was confronted by several pictures of a man with a crime watch photofit face, no clothes and a rather alarmingly large penis.  I gasped at the computer, clutched my pearls and closed my eyes quickly to prevent any further filth sullying my mind.

^That could be me.  But obviously it's not.

OK so now you have gone and tried that on google to see of you can find Mr CrimeWatch it only remains for me to make know the fact that I also managed 11.6 miles on the bike, meaning 19.6 miles completed and a mere 480.4 miles to go.

Stop! Rest day time!

As you can tell from the title, my MC Hammer pants are back from the dry cleaners. Aren't they pretty? Yes, yes they are.

No, not really. This week has been....middling. I finished level 1 of the 30 day shred on Tuesday, yay! I'm having a rest day today because my back is buggered and I think it needs a wee rest. Am making the other half dinner tomorrow (chili! woop!) so probably won't have time tomorrow either. But I'll get back on it soon enough. :)

This week's biggest sin is that I am drinking more diet coke than I would like- not as much as before, but still- and also, that I bought an 8 pack of niknaks for me and my brother. Turns out he doesn't like them. So I've had 4 packets in 2 days. On the upside, multipack packets are TINY compared to singles. And I'll get sick of them soon, which means I can go another 5 years without eating them. So,,, that's okayish. Maybe.

My jeans have started falling down. I don't know whether that's because I'm thinner or because they've stretched (ie, am fatter). This exercise lark is confusing :(

Have had a rubbish week at work, including a true Day Of Shite, but I resisted the urge to have a couple of glasses of wine. Proud of that :) (I just ate nik naks instead....er....)

The road of good intentions is paved with chocolate buttons

This past week has not been a good one. A combination of nearly killing myself with Body Pump, being hormonal and some personal life worries means I haven't been back to the gym. I'm proud though, because these are the kinds of situations that usually lead me to a tub of Ben and Jerry's. I managed to stay away, which is quite an achievement. I did fall for some chocolate buttons, which I shared and actually found a bit too sweet. I have never in my life found something too sweet.

I've been back to the gym today. It was difficult, but I stuck with it and was rewarded for my efforts. I managed fifteen minutes on the Sideways Stepping Machine Of Death, which the machine tells me is three kilometers!

I'm realising now that where I went wrong the last time I tried to diet was that I was in mourning for all the things I never thought I'd eat again and I totally thought I was missing out all the time. The approach of cutting out eating in between meals and doing my best to find other ways to deal with my feelings seems to be really helping because it's easy. Of course I will eat all of my favourite things again. I will enjoy them, and I will move on. I will not obsess about them, or hate myself for wanting them or giving in to the urge.

Healthy attitude, healthy body, healthy mind. I feel great. It's a strange feeling. I wish I'd started being kinder to myself sooner.

*starjumps* OK that's enough of that for this week.

So, week 1 of 30 day shred is done. My muscles have adapted, as I am about 99% muscle-soreness-free. Yay! Healthy-eating plan is going okish, if not perfectly. But this is not about the food :)

I don't know if I look any different at all (I can never tell) but in my head I feel like I've got from this:

to this:

and I guess mental perception is half the battle.

Other plus point: for about two minutes after I finish daily workout-ing, I have visible abs muscles. I just need to make them hang about a bit longer.


By the way, a top tip: don't bother trying the new Triple Choc limited edition Mars Bar. I bought it expecting a lovely combo of white, milk and dark chocolate. What it actually is is chocolate-flavoured nougat topped with chocolate-flavoured caramel covered in chocolate-flavoured...chocolate. It was bleurgh. Avoid :(

Pump up the...DAMN

Today I am very, very sore. I can barely move. No position is comfortable for any more than five minutes. I am a victim of Body Pump.

It's hard to describe Body Pump. There's no jumping around and there's weights involved. The wiki page leaves me no clearer. Something about repetitions and endurance. You basically work every muscle group with varying degrees of weights until you want to cry/die/go home. I nearly did all of those things yesterday.

I managed about half the class yesterday, being generous, though I am proud I did none of the crying/dying/running home things mentioned above.

So, with this, I have my first goal. I will complete one of these classes. I will do everything that I am supposed to do, I will not cheat and I will keep up with all the repetitions.

I will let you know how I get on with that one. Eeep!

As goes the healthier eating, it's still going well. What has really helped is having a healthy cafe called Lovegrub that's just opened round the corner from my office. It's lunchtimes on the days I'm there that are dangerous. They very kindly deliver to me which means that I don't have to walk past a fried chicken emporium to get there, which is helpful. Their salads look like this, so it's hard to refuse them. That's mackerel on there, by the way. I know it looks like a giant fried thing.

*wince*

Just a quickie today (fnarr)

Day 3 of 30 day shred done, so 10% and first milestone. I couldn't walk yesterday, but today the pain in my thighs has receded to merely wincing when I stand up or sit down, which I think means my quadriceps are adapting? Yay.

Also day 3 of no Diet Coke (a big thing for me) and no bread. Yay.

The aforementioned wedding is tomorrow, and usually my solution to being too skint to drink is to have diet coke. I'll have to have a think about what to do. May just have actual alcohol, is less disastrous for me than aspartame. Am leaving quite early anyway. Hmmmmm.

Am also looking at joining my uni gym when I go back for  postgrad in October. I've walked past it for 5 years, this must change. It's only £40 for a year! Thing is, I've never been to a gym before. How much gym-going is normal? Once a week? Twice? Halp, Clueless Francololcat iz clueless.
Ta!x

Wake-up call.

So, like Fiona, I have been slack, because life got in the way. I can walk as much as I want but I'm not doing the miles I should because I end up going to my boyfriend's house, mostly, which is much closer to my work than my parents'. This is good because I much prefer his to theirs. It's bad for my waistline. Hmph.

But the reason for this post isn't that. Sigh. I was clearing some clothes out today and I came across the size 12 jeans that I last wore in November, when I was first starting to get ill, and when I realised I was getting fat(ter) They were tight then; today I could get them shut but couldn't get them over my hips. So that means I've put weight on since then. I feel, frankly, fucking wretched.

I'm starting to think that just walking more isn't enough. It doesn't appear to be making any difference. So I dug out my copy of the 30 Day Shred*. 30 mins intense workout every day for a month. I did it for 10 days last year, but chucked it because I was too ashamed of the noise my big heifer self made when I was jumping about in my parents' house. Those ten days did seem to make a bit of a difference, though, although perhaps I was kidding myself.
Of course, the shame issue still applies, because I'm an even bigger heifer now, and I always feel stupid doing any exercise or making any effort to get thin if my parents know about it (many,many issues there). So I can't promise that I will do it till the end. I do feel slightly last-chance-saloon now though: nothing I try seems to work. Part of that is PCOS making weightloss difficult, but still. Bloody demoralising.

Anyone who fancies joining in is welcome: it's pretty high-intensity, so if you're up the duff  I'd perhaps refrain (and it might fook fookedfoot up more, sorry Fiona :( ) but everyone seems to rave about it.

Did day 1 today, a month to the day till I go home to Paris for a bit. Counting in a few rest days, I should be nearly finished by then. You'll need to tell me if it's worked, as I can never tell...

To counter that shower of miserabilism, here's some cheery things from FrancoLand:

• One of my best friends is getting married on Wednesday. Yay! The dress I wore to the last wedding I went to, in July 2009, while a bit tighter, still fits. Double yay!
• Found the skirt I wore to the first date with my boyfriend. We'll have been going out for a year on the 27th of August. Skirt still fits, although has an elastic waist, but fits as in "doesn't have to be round my ribcage to fit" sense. Yay!
• Aforementioned anniversary  means we're going to the Fringe to see our favourite comedian (Josie Long). Yay!
• I am currently deploying strategies to escape my mundane-but-minefieldesque job and get a better one. Cross your fingers for me. Yay!

* Available for a special price of £0.00 at your friendly local torrent site, not that I would know that. *cough*