It's Been One Week...

Only, it hasn't, it has been 3.

3 weeks makes my total of another 45.6 miles walked sound impressive.  182.8 miles completed now with 317.2 to go for me to meet my 500 mile target.
You know what I am going to say though don't you?  Yes, cycling is not going so well.  I have a measly 5 miles to add to my total.  37.5 miles completed leaving a lot still to go.

Since my brain haemorrhage I have been under the weather for a great proportion of the time.  I am completing the walking (which looking at the figure is still less than half of what I was doing pre haem) because I have to get the girls to and from school and myself to and from medical appointments.  So basically if I HAVE to I will. The problem is I am normally so utterly exhausted from the exertion and the concentrating on not getting myself run over by falling off the curb/not realising that car is actually moving - towards ME and in so much pain in the fooked feet - that I get home and collapse in a heap at home.  For hours.

I find decision making, however simple a challenge now.  So deciding to move off the sofa is hard enough never mind get the bike out.  I have apathy, no really, it is a recognised post brain buggery condition.  Motivation is a struggle, but..

I am not giving up, but I think I am taking the pressure off myself a bit.  Especially as over the next few weeks I will complete about 8 different assessments to determine what and where any damage to my noggin is.  I have also decided to be sterilised (I did discuss it with my husband and doctor first).  I can't say I am relishing the thought of another operation, but a weeks recovery is far better than the alternatives for many and varied reasons.

And I would rather be a bit smaller before I have an operation on my wibbly middle.  (My weight is yo-yoing because there is also a question mark of whether I have PCOS, well, why the hell not?  I am collecting medical conditions for the hell of it now.)  So I have an equally compelling reason to keep trying to push myself just a bit with the exercise as I do to stay curled up on the sofa.

I'll keep trying, this is an inspirational volleyball quote apparently but it is true anyway:

Rookie error

Back at gym today. Don't feel I did so well today, possibly because I feel a bit under the weather. Maybe I did though? Did 32 mins on the treadmill, though only 8 of that was non-stop running at 8.5km/h (this seems to be my limit atm). I meant to do 20 mins but by the time I got there I thought, sod it, will go to 25, and then I wasn't dead, so thought, oh ok I'll just go to the 30 min mark and the machine will chuck me off. It didn't, it made me do a 2 min cooldown first. So. Must admit that most of it was powerwalking though, at about the 6.5-7.5 km/h mark. Ran about....9.5 minutes at most. Hm. This is probably a bit crap.

Then did 10 mins on rowing machine, which my ipod decided to soundtrack with a  Belle and Sebastian song. Which was a) slow and b) had the first line "Oooh, get me away from here, I'm dying". CHEERS IPOD.

Discovered that  the crosstrainers have.....FREEVIEW! So I did 15 mins there while watching This Morning and feeling angry at Eamonn Holmes, standard. Only did 2km, but I was timelimited so there we are.

Then I made a twat of myself. Went in for a shower on autopilot. Got in, turned on water, realised I was fully clothed. Thought "oh dear, I'll take my top off". So I did. But I forgot my bra. and my pants. Which means I am walking around with wet patches on my chest and my arse. Well done Franco!! :D
I don't think I'm quite awake yet.


More minor rookie error: woke up today with the nerve pain I sometimes get in my neck. Gave in and bought some paracetamol, took it before gym. Forgot exercise will make painkillers get out of your system faster. Now have to wait 2 hours til I can take more, getting kicked in the throat by pain every 30 seconds. Oops.....

I can do a four minute....er...3/4 km?

OK, so I'm not Roger Bannister. Shame.

But I properly joined the gym today (it must be true, I have the university-branded locker token and everything). Was there actually working for just over an hour, which isn't bad. I was slightly concerned as I was fairly alright after that, whereas 30mins of 30dayshred leaves me dying for about 30 mins afterwards. However, perhaps that's just cos 30DS is v v v high intensity, and the gym is different?

I did 30 mins on the treadmill: 2 min warm up, 10 min powerwalk, 15 min jog and the rest a powerwalkjoggycooldown thing. Have not yet mastered jogging while moving arms without falling off-given that the thing was set at 8.5km an hour falling was a major concern-so jogged gripping the side bars for dear life. Like an idiot. But hey. looking like an idiot is nothing new for me when it comes to running about :)

Then did 20 mins on rowing machine, which I like cos I get to sit down. Arse is too big for the little seat tho, I kept tilting by accident. Also like rowing because I have the impression, which may be wrong, that it works my arms as well. which the other stuff doesn't do really.

Then 15 mins on a crosstrainer thing. Which was ok. Although the ipod socket wouldn't charge my ipod, boooo. Apparently I did 2.9km on the treadmill, of which 1.5 was probably running, and 1.25 on the crosstrainer. The rowing machine display kept dying on me so I don't know what distance I did there.

Apparently, on the treadmill my heartrate was at the high end of "endurance training" range and on the crosstrainer was on the high end of "athletic conditioning" (!) which sounds impressive. Highest I saw was 195 bpm, which I think is the highest sustained rate my heart's  ever been at. And yet I did not even come close to keeling over. Which is good, right?

Let's get physical.

So yesterday, I went to the gym at uni. I'm probably going tomorrow morning to join for the year.

I didn't do much, because I wasn't able to get an induction and when i looked at the weight machines I wasn't sure what to do. Will try and sort that soon though. Last night I just stuck to the cardio suite (oooh, get me, all fitnessbunnyspeak), so 15 mins on treadmill, 15 on crosstrainer, 15 on rowing machine and 10 mins on crosstrainer again after i chickened out on weights. Also did 5 mins on spinning bike thing. Er. Won't be doing that again....pain pain pain.

I've never been in a gym in my life, and overall  I just got the impression like I was back at PE in school. There was communal changing! Which is what made me hate PE in the first place. And there were plenty of thin fit people. But there were a few girls who were just as fat and wobbly as me. So that was nice. I'm going to make an effort. We'll see how it goes.

Oh Carol

My Carol Voderman Active Health DS came and new activity meter (aka pedometer) didn't arrive till last Tuesday.  This meant a week of no steps counting, a week where I ended up doing extra walking, a week where I spent a good couple of hours trying to dance and mashed my feet in the progress - and have no steps to add to the grand total.

Anyway this fortnights stats are as follows:
Walking: In the last 5 days I have managed 13.7 miles which I am pretty pleased with (not least because when I say I mashed my already fookedfeet I am not exagerating, they are sore *violins please*)  This means I have 362.8 miles to tramp.

Bike (yes hurrah!  I have finally got on my bike!) I have managed 10 miles!  Hurrah only 467.5 to go.
I got the final all clear on Monday following my brain hem in February on Monday and am feeling much more comfortable starting to really push myself now.  So I am hoping I can get closer to 10 miles minimum a week now and start bringing the end in sight much quicker!

Motivation is still hard.  I am still anxious doing much outside the school run because a) I have to take the children to school or I get told off and b) I did it so long before my brain exploded that it is hard wired into some undamaged part of my skull, not to forget c) my brain does not control my body temperature properly so I am either bright red and soaked in sweat when everyone else is cold or expiring when everyone else is hot.  It is very embarrassing, it doesn't encourage me to feel the burn in public.

But I am trying to recover my fitness as well as my self confidence and self esteem so I keep trying to push myself a tiny bit further every day.

Other blogs are available: but here's mine anyway.

Fancy following my MPhil research travails? Go here. 

I'll do my best to make it interesting!

Off the wagon.

I have been off the wagon recently. Well, exercise wise anyway. I've been ok...ish food wise but wandering a bit without the focus of exercise. It started with being off work and cutting my hand open so I couldn't get it wet. Crap excuse, but I was waiting for one. Then I went on holiday and then I was ill...(ish). I'm going back at the weekend. If I don't, can you please kick me up the bum? I'll update you all after I've been.