The Horror Of Google

So I'm back with 2 weeks worth of figures for the 500 mile walk and the 500 mile cycle.

But you know, I don't like to just write stuff.  I like youtube videos and images to jazz things up a bit.  As usual I turned to google to provide me with a suitably funny or quirky illustrative image for this blog post.  I typed in 'walk funny'.  I have done quite a lot of walking, 18.5 miles in fact which brings the running total to 53.6 miles leaving 446.4 miles to go.  A tenth of the total completed, I am happy and pleased with myself etc.

I should have twigged something might pop up I wasn't wanting when the images seemed to feature this or similar on t-shirts etc .

On I scrolled until suddenly I was confronted by several pictures of a man with a crime watch photofit face, no clothes and a rather alarmingly large penis.  I gasped at the computer, clutched my pearls and closed my eyes quickly to prevent any further filth sullying my mind.

^That could be me.  But obviously it's not.

OK so now you have gone and tried that on google to see of you can find Mr CrimeWatch it only remains for me to make know the fact that I also managed 11.6 miles on the bike, meaning 19.6 miles completed and a mere 480.4 miles to go.

Stop! Rest day time!

As you can tell from the title, my MC Hammer pants are back from the dry cleaners. Aren't they pretty? Yes, yes they are.

No, not really. This week has been....middling. I finished level 1 of the 30 day shred on Tuesday, yay! I'm having a rest day today because my back is buggered and I think it needs a wee rest. Am making the other half dinner tomorrow (chili! woop!) so probably won't have time tomorrow either. But I'll get back on it soon enough. :)

This week's biggest sin is that I am drinking more diet coke than I would like- not as much as before, but still- and also, that I bought an 8 pack of niknaks for me and my brother. Turns out he doesn't like them. So I've had 4 packets in 2 days. On the upside, multipack packets are TINY compared to singles. And I'll get sick of them soon, which means I can go another 5 years without eating them. So,,, that's okayish. Maybe.

My jeans have started falling down. I don't know whether that's because I'm thinner or because they've stretched (ie, am fatter). This exercise lark is confusing :(

Have had a rubbish week at work, including a true Day Of Shite, but I resisted the urge to have a couple of glasses of wine. Proud of that :) (I just ate nik naks instead....er....)

The road of good intentions is paved with chocolate buttons

This past week has not been a good one. A combination of nearly killing myself with Body Pump, being hormonal and some personal life worries means I haven't been back to the gym. I'm proud though, because these are the kinds of situations that usually lead me to a tub of Ben and Jerry's. I managed to stay away, which is quite an achievement. I did fall for some chocolate buttons, which I shared and actually found a bit too sweet. I have never in my life found something too sweet.

I've been back to the gym today. It was difficult, but I stuck with it and was rewarded for my efforts. I managed fifteen minutes on the Sideways Stepping Machine Of Death, which the machine tells me is three kilometers!

I'm realising now that where I went wrong the last time I tried to diet was that I was in mourning for all the things I never thought I'd eat again and I totally thought I was missing out all the time. The approach of cutting out eating in between meals and doing my best to find other ways to deal with my feelings seems to be really helping because it's easy. Of course I will eat all of my favourite things again. I will enjoy them, and I will move on. I will not obsess about them, or hate myself for wanting them or giving in to the urge.

Healthy attitude, healthy body, healthy mind. I feel great. It's a strange feeling. I wish I'd started being kinder to myself sooner.

*starjumps* OK that's enough of that for this week.

So, week 1 of 30 day shred is done. My muscles have adapted, as I am about 99% muscle-soreness-free. Yay! Healthy-eating plan is going okish, if not perfectly. But this is not about the food :)

I don't know if I look any different at all (I can never tell) but in my head I feel like I've got from this:

to this:

and I guess mental perception is half the battle.

Other plus point: for about two minutes after I finish daily workout-ing, I have visible abs muscles. I just need to make them hang about a bit longer.


By the way, a top tip: don't bother trying the new Triple Choc limited edition Mars Bar. I bought it expecting a lovely combo of white, milk and dark chocolate. What it actually is is chocolate-flavoured nougat topped with chocolate-flavoured caramel covered in chocolate-flavoured...chocolate. It was bleurgh. Avoid :(

Pump up the...DAMN

Today I am very, very sore. I can barely move. No position is comfortable for any more than five minutes. I am a victim of Body Pump.

It's hard to describe Body Pump. There's no jumping around and there's weights involved. The wiki page leaves me no clearer. Something about repetitions and endurance. You basically work every muscle group with varying degrees of weights until you want to cry/die/go home. I nearly did all of those things yesterday.

I managed about half the class yesterday, being generous, though I am proud I did none of the crying/dying/running home things mentioned above.

So, with this, I have my first goal. I will complete one of these classes. I will do everything that I am supposed to do, I will not cheat and I will keep up with all the repetitions.

I will let you know how I get on with that one. Eeep!

As goes the healthier eating, it's still going well. What has really helped is having a healthy cafe called Lovegrub that's just opened round the corner from my office. It's lunchtimes on the days I'm there that are dangerous. They very kindly deliver to me which means that I don't have to walk past a fried chicken emporium to get there, which is helpful. Their salads look like this, so it's hard to refuse them. That's mackerel on there, by the way. I know it looks like a giant fried thing.

*wince*

Just a quickie today (fnarr)

Day 3 of 30 day shred done, so 10% and first milestone. I couldn't walk yesterday, but today the pain in my thighs has receded to merely wincing when I stand up or sit down, which I think means my quadriceps are adapting? Yay.

Also day 3 of no Diet Coke (a big thing for me) and no bread. Yay.

The aforementioned wedding is tomorrow, and usually my solution to being too skint to drink is to have diet coke. I'll have to have a think about what to do. May just have actual alcohol, is less disastrous for me than aspartame. Am leaving quite early anyway. Hmmmmm.

Am also looking at joining my uni gym when I go back for  postgrad in October. I've walked past it for 5 years, this must change. It's only £40 for a year! Thing is, I've never been to a gym before. How much gym-going is normal? Once a week? Twice? Halp, Clueless Francololcat iz clueless.
Ta!x

Wake-up call.

So, like Fiona, I have been slack, because life got in the way. I can walk as much as I want but I'm not doing the miles I should because I end up going to my boyfriend's house, mostly, which is much closer to my work than my parents'. This is good because I much prefer his to theirs. It's bad for my waistline. Hmph.

But the reason for this post isn't that. Sigh. I was clearing some clothes out today and I came across the size 12 jeans that I last wore in November, when I was first starting to get ill, and when I realised I was getting fat(ter) They were tight then; today I could get them shut but couldn't get them over my hips. So that means I've put weight on since then. I feel, frankly, fucking wretched.

I'm starting to think that just walking more isn't enough. It doesn't appear to be making any difference. So I dug out my copy of the 30 Day Shred*. 30 mins intense workout every day for a month. I did it for 10 days last year, but chucked it because I was too ashamed of the noise my big heifer self made when I was jumping about in my parents' house. Those ten days did seem to make a bit of a difference, though, although perhaps I was kidding myself.
Of course, the shame issue still applies, because I'm an even bigger heifer now, and I always feel stupid doing any exercise or making any effort to get thin if my parents know about it (many,many issues there). So I can't promise that I will do it till the end. I do feel slightly last-chance-saloon now though: nothing I try seems to work. Part of that is PCOS making weightloss difficult, but still. Bloody demoralising.

Anyone who fancies joining in is welcome: it's pretty high-intensity, so if you're up the duff  I'd perhaps refrain (and it might fook fookedfoot up more, sorry Fiona :( ) but everyone seems to rave about it.

Did day 1 today, a month to the day till I go home to Paris for a bit. Counting in a few rest days, I should be nearly finished by then. You'll need to tell me if it's worked, as I can never tell...

To counter that shower of miserabilism, here's some cheery things from FrancoLand:

• One of my best friends is getting married on Wednesday. Yay! The dress I wore to the last wedding I went to, in July 2009, while a bit tighter, still fits. Double yay!
• Found the skirt I wore to the first date with my boyfriend. We'll have been going out for a year on the 27th of August. Skirt still fits, although has an elastic waist, but fits as in "doesn't have to be round my ribcage to fit" sense. Yay!
• Aforementioned anniversary  means we're going to the Fringe to see our favourite comedian (Josie Long). Yay!
• I am currently deploying strategies to escape my mundane-but-minefieldesque job and get a better one. Cross your fingers for me. Yay!

* Available for a special price of £0.00 at your friendly local torrent site, not that I would know that. *cough*

Oh for shame....

Lets just cut to the chase, this week I have been slack.  I have done no cycling again and only got readings for walking from 2 days.

I know.

I will also warn you know that next weekend I am away for titches birthday so I may have to do a double update in a fortnight.  Still hopefully I will be back with much more impressive results.  I have had a fabulous birthday weekend but I've already seen so many photos of myself I just hate.  I am all for cutting myself some slack after the last 6 months, not getting caught up in that old web of self loathing and punishment etc etc but it doesn't change the fact that I just hate the photos and the way I look.  I need to get more committed to getting fitter and more consistent in my approach.

So this week:

Walked 7.5 ouch!

So 3 weeks in and I have 464.9 miles left to walk and 492 miles left to cycle.

Back to my future

So, at last I had a decent excuse not to go to the gym! Yes, after a busy weekend at work I came home on Monday to riots. Proper riots. I wasn't caught up in them, thank goodness, but I saw plenty people walking past my house with their booty. So I've spent the last couple of days on lockdown, only going out when I had to, so the gym seemed like a bit of a gamble.

Made it back today though, and really enjoyed myself, despite this contraption being the very definition of evil. It looks like a stepper, but it's not. It goes sideways as well as up and down and it's harder depending on what part you hold it on. I managed six minutes. It is my nemesis. I will conquer it.

Week 2

O this week has been shit for many and varied reasons.

And I will tell you right now I have not done as well as I would have liked on my challenges.  No cycling at all *shame face* but a little more walking than last week at least.

But before I give you the score on the door I have photos from todays walk to share.  It is often said Sheffield is built on seven hills.  Personally I think it may be more than that, there seems to be hardly any flat parts of this city at all.  Anyway one of these hills is at the back of my house.  Now in the past I have not only walked up this hill but I have also pushed a fully loaded double buggy up it too.  I was in a car making the same journey not so long ago and I'm not quite sure how I managed it.

Living as I do on the side of the former industrial heart land of the steel city I am used to a more urban than green landscape.  Even though I knew there was greenery of some sort behind the play ground at the top of the road I never went and investigated.  Luckily a couple of months ago my husband and children did.  Feeling in desperate need of a good walk to clear my head this morning I suggested they show me all this woodland, roman road remains and breath taking views they had raved about.  Walking the hill with nice things to look at rather than busy roads and houses has got to make things more interesting right?

It was about 3 miles in total and took a little over an hour as we did have to stop and investigate things.  It was also pretty steep, I could tell you that but you might not believe him hence the photographic evidence secured via mobile phone.  I felt a million miles from home half the time and the rest I was staring out over at impressive sized chunk of Sheffield.  My head in clearer, my thighs hurt and next week I'll be back in the (figurative) saddle.

On the way up looking out over Sheffield

And a bit higher still

Looking back the way we've come

Looking back (over my shoulder... sorry) again

In places it's more a mountain and a hill but if they kids can so it so can I!

So this weeks results?
I added another 14.1 miles to my tally making 27.6 in total leaving a mere 472.4 to go.

OK then......

It's life, Gym, but not as we know it...

Firstly, apologies for the appalling pun. I couldn't resist. I'm giddy because I've been back to the gym today. You know what? I really enjoyed myself.

Despite turning redder than an embarrassed beetroot, I did it. I walked through the door again. There were no alarms, no questions and definitley no staring. Well, I did get some odd looks because I'd forgotten to take my sunglasses off of my head but that's clearly my fault.
.
I started out slowly, doing 20 minutes of cardio and some resistance which was followed up with a swim and steam room. Lovely.

I also had a chat with a lovely man who worked there, who gave me some tips. I don't think I'm going to be able to afford personal training, but I at least know I'm on the right track. We did have a slightly embarrassing chat about how long I've been a member for, but I suppose I had that coming.

Still haven't decided on a goal, but well proud of myself for taking the first step. I am currently enjoying the time between still feeling the exercise good stuff and before the pain sets in. It's there. I can feel it beginning, but it will be the pain of achievement.

Eeeeeeee me quine ad nauseam

My granny will be the death of me.
I'm currently in a Scottish northern fishing town (Scotland's most easterly point, fact fans!) on a fairly fruitless grandparental mercy mission which most of you here probably know about. I'm going home tomorrow.
My granny likes to cook and I have eaten in 2 days:
Haddock
Herring in oatmeal
Granny's Meatloaf
McKenzie's Triangular Oatcakes (dry,amazing)

and given that my granny and granda are the personification of doddery, I haven't been able to francofastwalk them off. I've got two nights out (fairly sober however) planned this week, so I'm thinking I might have to write this week off. Bah. Suggestions on how not to, while still allowing me to do fuck all on my week's leave are welcome.

PS I suppose, thinking about it, most of that is low-carb ish. maybe that's consolation.